As the sun sets on Wednesday, Jewish communities worldwide will commence the Yom Kippur fast, a day of atonement. I, however, will not be joining them.
Throughout my adult years, I’ve seldom observed this fast. In fact, I’ve been advised against it. Since childhood, I’ve lived with chronic migraines, and as anyone with this condition knows, disrupting healthy routines like regular meals can quickly lead to severe pain. My parents have always warned me to avoid such obvious triggers as fasting, and Jewish law supports this: prioritizing one’s health is considered a mitzvah, or good deed. Yet, even with religious approval, abstaining from the holiest day’s rituals can stir up guilt and anxiety.
Rabbi Diane Rose of the Santa Monica Jewish Humanistic Chavurah notes, “People are deeply attached to fasting. I once had a very ill congregant who refused to eat. I told him, ‘Even the most orthodox rabbi would insist you eat an egg right now.'”
For those with health issues, such as recovering from eating disorders, Yom Kippur—and other fasting holidays like Ramadan or Lent—can be particularly tough. Molly Perlman, chief medical officer at Monte Nido, an eating disorder treatment center, advises, “It’s crucial to reflect on whether fasting is driven by the disorder’s urge to avoid food or a genuine desire to honor the day.”
Both clinical and religious perspectives offer many ways to observe Yom Kippur without fasting. Rabbi Rose points out that fasting is just one of the holiday’s practices, which also include dressing modestly and avoiding perfumes and leather. “Food is only one aspect,” she explains. “You can still dress simply, skip lotions and perfumes, and fulfill other traditional observances.”
Dr. Perlman and Rabbi Rose encourage finding personal meaning in the holiday through actions beyond fasting. “Use the day for reflection, whether through prayer, setting intentions, or journaling,” Dr. Perlman suggests. She recommends activities like setting goals for the year ahead or writing a letter to yourself to open next Yom Kippur, which can be especially healing for those in recovery from eating disorders or other mental health challenges.
Rabbi Rose draws from her work with children, who are exempt from fasting, proposing alternatives like giving up social media, phones, or even sleeping without a pillow to mark the day as special. She also suggests meditating, reading poetry, or crafting personal prayers for a broader interpretation.
Dr. Perlman finds that creating vision boards can aid in healing, helping clients, especially younger ones, focus on self-forgiveness for the harm their eating disorder has caused.
Regardless of religious commitment, viewing atonement as restorative rather than punitive can be transformative. Rabbi Rose highlights the Jewish concept of teshuvah, or “return,” which emphasizes self-reflection and growth. She asks, “Can you forgive others, even those who haven’t or can’t ask for it, to free yourself? The toughest part is often forgiving yourself.”
In past Yom Kippurs, I’ve immersed myself in work to quiet the inner turmoil.Sometimes I’ve felt proud of my hunger, believing it made me more righteous. But deep down, I knew it was easier than facing the complex emotions that surface when reflecting on the holiday’s true meaning. Rabbi Rose reminds us, “It’s a day to focus on forgiveness—a crucial aspect, especially when it’s hard. In Jewish tradition, going through that process matters more than whether you ate or not.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of helpful and clear FAQs about experiencing a meaningful Yom Kippur without fasting
Beginner Foundational Questions
1 What is the main point of Yom Kippur if Im not fasting
The main point of Yom Kippur is atonement repentance and spiritual renewal Fasting is one method to help focus on this but the core of the day is reflecting on your actions making amends and committing to personal growth
2 Is it okay to not fast on Yom Kippur
Yes for many valid reasons Jewish law explicitly prioritizes health and safety Those who are ill pregnant nursing have certain medical conditions or are under the age of barbat mitzvah are not required to fast The focus is on preserving life and wellbeing
3 I feel guilty about not fasting What should I do
Try to reframe your thinking The goal is a meaningful day not selfpunishment Your Yom Kippur can be just as profound by engaging deeply with other aspects of the holiday like prayer selfreflection and acts of kindness
Practical Tips Alternatives
4 What are some meaningful alternatives to fasting
There are many powerful alternatives
A Media Fast Refrain from social media television and other nonessential entertainment
A Speech Fast Avoid gossip negative talk or lying
Acts of Charity Donate money or time to a cause you care about
Deep Reflection Spend time in prayer meditation or journaling about the past year
5 How can I modify my eating to still feel the solemnity of the day
Instead of a full fast you can practice mindful eating Eat simple plain foods only when you are truly hungry and avoid festive or luxurious meals This creates a distinction from a normal day
6 Should I still go to synagogue if Im not fasting
Absolutely The synagogue services are the heart of the Yom Kippur experience The prayers music and community atmosphere are designed to guide you through the process of repentance regardless of whether you are fasting
Deeper Advanced Questions