As a straight woman, I’m speaking from a place of love, care, and concern: are we doing alright? Earlier this month, I wrote an article asking a straightforward question: “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” I never expected the whirlwind that followed.

After sharing it on social media, the TikTok I posted at 2 a.m. has been viewed 5.7 million times. I gained over 100,000 new followers across my platforms almost overnight. I’ve been interviewed by media outlets worldwide. My face has been all over the place, and my name has been mispronounced in countless ways. Strangers have stopped me for photos. I’ve been called the voice of single women, a wannabe Carrie Bradshaw, even a witch! Even the mayor of New York—my mayor, though I live in West London—weighed in.

I watched my article launch a global TikTok trend and knew it had peaked when brands started hopping on board. It was amazing to see how quickly an idea could spread. Part of me was just grateful to see that journalism can still provoke such a strong response. People are reading, thinking, and debating—thank goodness! I experienced the highs of “Journalism is back!” and the lows of “This is what’s wrong with media today.” But amid all the attention—both positive and negative—I couldn’t help but wonder: why, out of everything I’ve written, did this piece trigger such a raw and widespread reaction? And what does that reveal about modern dating?

Even though we like to think we’re living in progressive times, there seems to be a widespread hesitation to take a closer, more nuanced look at heterosexual dynamics and how they might not be working for us.

I was tagged in countless duet videos of adoring couples with captions like, “Sorry, Vogue, this isn’t embarrassing.” And sure, that’s fine. But it doesn’t change the fact that we’re clearly in the middle of a cultural shift. From talking to many straight women—both for the article and after it was published—it’s clear that many of us are moving away from defining ourselves by our romantic relationships in public, in ways that set us apart from previous generations, and even from just a few years ago. To me, that’s worth discussing and examining.

Another common reaction to my article was a rush to add exceptions to the main question. People argued that having a boyfriend is only embarrassing if he doesn’t meet certain standards or treats you poorly. Whether that’s true or not misses the point. Focusing on exceptions is a way to avoid talking about meaningful change in heterosexual dynamics and the chaos of modern dating. But it can’t be that all men are problematic, yet somehow not your man—that’s just delusional. Dating fatigue is real, and to me, it reflects a broader issue of misogyny in dating. We should be pushing for better—and that’s a collective effort, not an individual one.

Sadly, the article also brought a wave of hateful abuse, mostly from men who read the headline and flew into a rage. They wished abusive relationships on me, warned I’d die sad and alone, or even described how they’d kill me. At times, it was alarming. But I soon realized they likely saw the article as a threat to a system that has historically benefited them. If having a man was once the ultimate prize, and now some women are questioning that, well… that’s bound to feel unsettling.

What’s ironic is how often I’ve been accused of demonizing people for seeking love. Nothing could be further from the truth. So many of us, including me, long for companionship. I haven’t given up hope; part of me still believes things can improve. I think the article struck a nerve because our fixation on straight relationships—what they mean, how they’ve long beenThe idea of having a boyfriend has long been seen as a goal to strive for, but this hides many unpleasant issues we prefer to ignore, mainly because they’re too messy and complex to solve quickly. If simply questioning whether having a boyfriend—once so highly sought after—has become awkward in today’s culture sparks such a heated worldwide discussion, then it’s a conversation worth having and continuing. Perhaps beyond this strong reaction lies a future where our romantic relationships bring joy and freedom, rather than conflict and exhaustion.

Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about what our reactions to Are Boyfriends Embarrassing reveal about modern heterosexual dating

BeginnerLevel Questions

1 What does the question Are boyfriends embarrassing even mean
Its a lighthearted way to ask if people feel selfconscious judged or awkward about their partners behavior interests or personality in social situations

2 Why is this a common topic now
Social media like TikTok and Instagram has popularized this conversation creating a space where people share funny or cringeworthy stories about their boyfriends making it a relatable cultural talking point

3 Is it normal to be a little embarrassed by your partner sometimes
Yes its very common Everyone has quirks and its normal to feel a bit selfconscious about them occasionally especially in new relationships

4 What are some common embarrassing boyfriend behaviors
Classic examples include their fashion choices overly enthusiastic or cringey dance moves dad jokes or having very different taste in music or movies

IntermediateLevel Questions

5 What does finding a partner embarrassing reveal about modern dating expectations
It often reveals that we expect partners to be a perfect reflection of our own personal brandour tastes humor and social savvy It highlights a pressure for couples to be a unified cool unit

6 How does social media play a role in this feeling
Social media encourages performance We curate perfectlooking lives and relationships online A partners uncurated behavior can feel like a threat to that carefully crafted image

7 Is this feeling more common for women Why might that be
It often is Societally women are frequently judged more harshly on their relationship choices and are socialized to be more concerned with social harmony and what others think

8 Whats the difference between harmless embarrassment and a red flag
Harmless embarrassment is about silly quirks A red flag is if youre embarrassed by their core values how they treat people or a lack of ambition or respect

AdvancedLevel Questions

9 How does this trend reflect the shift from pragmatic to companionate marriage
Historically marriage was for practical