It’s easy to forget that true well-being isn’t just about yoga or eating right—it’s also about our relationships. Just as physical and mental fitness build a healthy body, social fitness builds a healthy spirit and is just as important to work on and maintain. That’s according to Harvard-trained sociologist Kasley Killam, who has even created a simple method for improving social health called the 5-3-1 rule.

What is the 5-3-1 rule?

Humans are naturally social beings who thrive on connections. In her book, The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living (2024), Killam describes our social network as a living organ: it breathes, stretches, and weakens if we don’t nourish it. Like other aspects of our health, it deserves daily attention.

The 5-3-1 rule isn’t a strict discipline or another wellness checklist. Instead, it’s an invitation to shape your relational well-being with the same care you give to your skin or workouts. Killam outlines three numbers to keep your “social muscles” strong:

– Five: Each week, spend time with five different people or social groups to increase interactions and weave more social life into your routine. These can be friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, or acquaintances.
– Three: Every month, aim for at least three deeper interactions with those in your close circle—people you can be yourself around.
– One: Daily, set aside about an hour for social interaction, no matter how small. Chat with your fitness instructor, make small talk with a neighbor, or call a sibling. These little moments add up.

By combining these three actions, Killam offers a way to repair, strengthen, and revitalize the invisible social fabric that supports us. The 5-3-1 rule doesn’t promise a perfect life—just one that feels more connected, stable, and vibrant.

The benefits of the 5-3-1 rule

In a world focused on skincare, sleep, errands, work, and food, it’s easy to overlook how much well-being is nurtured by the connections we share. Killam reminds us that social health isn’t a luxury—it’s a key part of balance. Practicing these three simple steps—five varied contacts a week, three meaningful exchanges a month, and an hour of daily sociability—awakens a part of ourselves that often gets neglected.

Plus, the 5-3-1 rule helps ease stress, soothe loneliness, boost confidence, and renew the feeling of being supported by others. Think of it as a beauty treatment for the soul, hydrating your bonds like serum does for skin. Every interaction adds a glow—an emotional radiance that fills your whole being. As Killam writes, “our connections are our most precious strength,” especially when we nurture them with care.

Curious about a beauty or wellness trend? Let us know! Email Vogue’s senior beauty and wellness editor at beauty@vogue.com.

Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of helpful and clear FAQs about the 531 Rule for wellness

Discover the 531 Rule Your FAQs Answered

Beginner Definition Questions

1 What is the 531 Rule in simple terms
Its a simple daily wellness habit Every day you aim to do five minutes of movement spend three minutes practicing mindfulness and connect with one person

2 Where did the 531 Rule come from
It was popularized by psychologist and author Dr Alison Escalante as a manageable framework to combat stress and improve overall wellbeing without feeling overwhelmed

3 Is this a diet or a hardcore fitness plan
No not at all Its a gentle sustainable habit focused on foundational wellness pillars physical activity mental quiet and social connection

Benefits Purpose

4 What are the main benefits of following this rule
The benefits include reduced stress and anxiety improved mood better focus a sense of accomplishment and stronger social bonds all from a minimal daily time commitment

5 Why are these three specific things chosen
They target three core areas of wellbeing your body your mind and your spirit Together they create a powerful balanced impact

6 Im already busy How can 9 minutes a day make a difference
Consistency is more powerful than duration Doing these small positive actions every day builds a resilient foundation for your mental and physical health making it easier to maintain than sporadic intense efforts

Practical Application Examples

7 What counts as five minutes of movement
Anything that gets your body moving A brisk walk stretching a few yoga poses dancing to one song or even marching in place while your coffee brews

8 What does three minutes of mindfulness look like
It can be focused breathing meditating sitting quietly without your phone listening to the sounds around you or simply noticing five things you can see hear and feel

9 What does connecting with one person mean
It means having a real meaningful interaction This could be a phone call a video chat or a thoughtful text message to a