Last Friday, I was finishing up a Zoom call in my kitchen with my daughter Harper asleep in my arms. As the call ended, she started to stir and wake up. I pressed my nose to her head—her soft, slightly messy hair still warm from sleep—and took a deep breath. Just then, my mom walked into the room.

“This is random,” I said to her, “but what’s your favorite smell?” She paused, leaning against the counter, and nodded toward the sleepy baby in my arms. “It’s that. You know, when I smell Harper, I smell you.”

I’ve heard that the “new baby smell” doesn’t last forever, but every mother knows it and carries it with her for the rest of her life. Harper’s scent has wrapped around me in a way I can’t fully describe.

“If you could bottle it up…” my mom said, her voice trailing off. “There’s nothing like it.” Even the most ordinary smells have always held deep memories for me. I can still remember snack time in preschool, when my teacher handed me a small cup of animal crackers that felt like a treasure of vanilla and lemon.

Every time I smell lipstick, I think of my grandma, who always reapplied hers throughout the day. Hay bales and horse feed remind me of True Grit, my first film set, where everything felt new. When I think of love, I think of a few Tuesdays ago, when my husband, Josh, came home, hugged me—his comforting scent instantly putting me at ease—and then pulled a bouquet of red roses wrapped in brown paper and twine from behind his back.

Roses—red, white, and crystal—will always remind me of our wedding in Montecito. We toured the venue holding hands, walking through the rose gardens, past lemon trees and sprawling pink bougainvilleas, and knew right away it was our place. Less than six months later, on an early summer day, in front of our closest friends and family, we walked through those same gardens, down an aisle lined with the whitest roses I’ve ever seen, breathing in the earthy green and fresh salty ocean air, and promised to spend forever together.

Now more than ever, I’m stopping to smell the roses, as cliché as that sounds. I’m moving slower, more intentionally, being present with what’s right in front of me. I’m thinking about what I wear, who I surround myself with, and how I take care of my mind and body. That’s what I’ve been writing about in my Substack newsletter for the past two years, what I want to show my daughter, and what I want to keep sharing with the world.

As a daughter myself, I know it matters.

I sometimes wonder what Harper will remember of this time years from now. I’ve accepted that she probably won’t remember these early mornings we’ve spent together, swaying back and forth as the clock ticks from 2 to 3 a.m., or the countless sunny days we’ve spent barefoot in the backyard, saying “hi birds,” picking wildflowers, and spelling out her name with the stems.

But someday, Harper will know my smell—the faint scent of my perfume. That thought made me so excited to partner with Estée Lauder for their new perfume, Glimmer. It’s the first perfume I’ve ever worn that truly smells like me. It has notes of roses and vanilla (now you know why these notes are so personal and important to me), which I love, and it carries an essence, like an invisible heirloom, that feels personal to me, to us.

In the kitchen, my mom told me that the first perfume she ever wore was also Estée Lauder. She bought it in the ‘80s with her own money and wore it for years, before she met my dad, long before she ever knew me. When we started working on the creative for Glimmer, we talked about what song would fit the campaign best—I knew right away it had to be Nina Simone’s 1960s classic “Feeling Good.” Recording the cover—while pregnant with Harper, with my mom on set with me—I was flooded with emotions: nostalgia, appreciation for something great from the past, joy in the present moment, and anticipation for the future.

Soon, Harper willShe’ll start building her own memories—smells, faces, sounds, moments. I can’t wait for her to share them with me. Who knows, maybe one day she’ll write her own story about it.

Hailee’s Favorite Memories
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld
Courtesy Estée Lauder
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld
Courtesy Hailee Steinfeld

Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about The Special Scents That Shape My Life covering a range of perspectives

BeginnerLevel Questions

1 What exactly do you mean by special scents that shape my life
It means the specific smells that are tied to powerful memories emotions or routines in my daily life These arent just nice smellsthey trigger feelings of comfort nostalgia or motivation

2 Can you give me a simple example of a scent that shapes a life
Sure The smell of fresh coffee brewing every morning might shape someones life because it signals the start of their day a moment of quiet or a ritual that helps them focus

3 How can I start noticing which scents are important to me
Pay attention to smells that make you pause or feel a sudden emotion Write down the scent and what memory or feeling it brings up

4 Are these scents always pleasant
Not necessarily A scent can shape your life because it reminds you of a difficult time or a loss For example the smell of a hospital might trigger anxiety which influences how you approach health

Advanced Deeper Questions

5 How do scents actually get tied to such strong memories
The olfactory bulb is directly connected to the amygdala and hippocampus the brains emotion and memory centers This means a smell can instantly trigger a vivid memory and the feeling you had at that moment without you even thinking about it

6 Can a person intentionally change which scents shape their life
Yes through a process called scent association If you deliberately use a new scent during a positive focused activity your brain will eventually link that scent to that calm or productive state

7 Whats the difference between a favorite scent and a lifeshaping scent
A favorite scent is usually just enjoyable A lifeshaping scent has a personal story attached Its less about preference and more about emotional connection and identity

8 How can I use lifeshaping scents to improve my daily routine