It feels like just yesterday that Carrie Bradshaw was carefree, spending recklessly on shoes and happily single. But this season of And Just Like That…, she’s dead set on making her bizarre, nonsensical relationship with Aidan work—and I’m equally determined to nitpick every detail, even though these are fictional characters who can’t hear my frustrated screams for sanity.

Episode 3 of AJLT’s third season is here, and here’s every thought I had while watching:

– Shoe the cat is getting so much screen time this season—love it!
– Why isn’t Amy Sedaris back as Carrie’s book agent? Oh wait, she was her publisher.
– Carrie’s in Austin for SXSW? Watch out, South Congress! …Oh, LOL, she’s actually going to Virginia to be near Aidan.
– Good grief, Carrie. You’re in your 50s! Date someone who can actually be in the same state as you.
– Anthony’s hot-bread-guys business is a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.
– “Is body negativity back?” Uh, yes, obviously.
– Carrie, you’re too old to guilt-trip friends into free cat-sitting. Pay a teenager—or that young jewelry designer you’re pals with!
– Charlotte’s a momfluencer now?
– OMG, Aidan’s wife (aka Midge from Mad Men, aka Rosemarie DeWitt, my ultimate crush) is calling Carrie? She looks amazing in glasses.
– LOL, she wants Carrie to bring their son Adderall? Sure, why not involve your ex’s long-distance girlfriend in interstate stimulant smuggling?
– How clueless is Carrie if she doesn’t know about that shady doctor on Court Street who’ll prescribe anything? (Allegedly.)
– I refuse to believe any high-powered NYC mom would part with her kid’s ADHD meds, but Charlotte does have a way of making things happen.
– Lisa’s bob is flawless this episode.
– Charlotte’s art-world friends and their ridiculous hats? Iconic.
– We all have that one older coworker who hands out Advil for hangovers—they’re the backbone of office culture.
– So Carrie’s hot landscaper has a key, but Aidan doesn’t? Relationship goals!
– The Carrie/Aidan drama this season is making me want to rip my hair out.
– I feel like Miranda watching Bi Bingo—just baffled.
– Ooh, Miranda sort of asked out Joy, the BBC producer! Progress!
– Carrie lecturing Miranda about “playing games” while she treats her own relationship like a high-stakes Monopoly match? Rich.
– Rock’s little sailor outfit? Adorable.
– Anthony’s Italian boyfriend gets a dinner invite, but Lily’s ballet crush doesn’t? Rude.
– I need to see Harry Goldenblatt at the club.
– Do kids today (the gay ones, at least) still get Fame references?
– “A gay 90 is a straight 70.” Facts, Seema’s eccentric boss.
– Please, please let Seema’s next love interest not be this bland, symmetrical white guy from work.
– More Harry and Carrie scenes, please!
– Carrie and Seema in Virginia? Hard pass.
– Wait—Seema and Adam the landscaper? Now that I’d watch.
– Vogue.com shoutout! Does this mean I’m canon now?
– Carrie, I’ll cat-sit Shoe! Or sell you Adderall! (Kidding, FBI.)
– Damn, Lisa, mash those potatoes with feeling.
– (Sorry, I paused to Google “best potato masher” and missed Lisa’s convo.)
– Virginia’s serving “heart-healthy” food? What’s even the point?
– Gay men are not having a good episode.
– And now, over to the lesbians! Hi, Miranda and Joy!
– I need to rewatch Doll & Em.
– Finally, some actual chemistry for Miranda! (Not that I don’t miss Che Diaz with every fiber of my being.)
– Wow, I am getting old—art-world afterparties sound exhausting now.This sounds exhausting and pretentious—like I’d have to pretend to know about things I’ve never even heard of.

Harry deserves better than being stuck in those tight jeans!

He wet himself? After just four drinks? Amateur move, babe. Even in Japanese denim.

I NEED Seema’s snakeskin pajamas.

Charlotte’s advice was spot-on: “Maybe stop feeling his dick through his pants and just have a conversation.”

Blond guys who collect art are always a red flag. Not that I’ve met one in real life, but this one onscreen isn’t doing it for me.

Oh, sweet Charlotte, you’ll soon learn that trying to keep up with Gen Z by downing espresso martinis is a losing battle.

Watching Charlotte drunkenly dance at a club is giving me major SATC nostalgia—remember that episode where she… drunkenly danced at a club? Time really is a loop.

Babe, you’re a mom of two! Do NOT do cocaine! At least test it first—oh, phew, she didn’t.

Ew, that creepy blond art guy kissed Charlotte! And it was not consensual. Men are the worst, honestly.

Carrie asking “Why am I here?” is such a mood.

LOL, Carrie’s license expired in 2017 because she only travels with a passport. Same, girl.

Aww, Giuseppe wore the slutty Hot Fellas uniform for Anthony.

Why is Carrie using Waze instead of Google Maps? Big mistake. I will die on this hill—and no, this isn’t sponsored, since they’re both owned by Google or Palantir or some evil empire.

Charlotte making her hangover worse with her own high-pitched “Yay!” is peak Charlotte York-Goldenblatt.

Carrie and Seema’s car mishaps are way too relatable. Reminds me of when my friend and I accidentally put diesel in a borrowed gas car (though, in our defense, we were 18).

So Carrie can stay over now, but she wasn’t actually invited? What is this relationship? I had clearer communication from the drummers I “dated” back in my “straight” phase.

Aidan didn’t tell his sons Carrie was coming?! I swear, I’m going to strangle this man.

Also, as someone whose parents dated after their divorce—your kids will be fine with you having a girlfriend, Aidan, if you’d just stop being so awkward about it!

Wait, why did Kathy have to ask Carrie for the keys instead of Aidan?

Carrie’s back to writing her terrible fiction. 🙂

Hold on—is she in a guest room?

Aidan Shaw, you will start coughing in three days. Mark my words.