You know that friend who always drags her boyfriend along to hangouts (seriously Brad, go home!) and seems completely focused on catering to his every need? Whether it’s doing his laundry or making sure he stays socially active to avoid the “male loneliness epidemic,” there’s now a term for her: she’s a “mankeeper,” and the effort she puts into managing her unmotivated partner is called “mankeeping.”

But where did this term come from, and why is it problematic? Here’s what you should know:

What is mankeeping?
Mankeeping describes the emotional and social work that straight women often do in their relationships with straight men, particularly around maintaining their social connections. The term comes from a 2024 Stanford study titled “Theorizing mankeeping: The male friendship recession and women’s associated labor as a structural component of gender inequality.” Researchers defined it as women compensating for men’s lack of social support—work that often goes unnoticed and unreturned, costing women time and well-being.

Examples of mankeeping:
Think of Marge Simpson—while Homer has no problem bonding with his buddies at Moe’s Tavern, Marge handles everything else: making sure he parents, goes to the doctor, keeps up with chores, and generally functions like an adult.

Or take Gilmore Girls—when Lorelai and Sookie force Luke and Jackson to hang out (despite their reluctance). Even Claire Dunphy from Modern Family might qualify—though is she a mankeeper, or just a control freak with Virgo tendencies?

Why is it a problem?
At first glance, supporting your partner socially might seem harmless. But mankeeping is almost never a two-way street. As Stanford researcher Eagan Dean explains, it could mean a woman managing her husband’s social calendar, buying birthday cards for his friends, or being her brother’s main emotional support—without getting the same effort in return.