I once caught my reflection in my parents’ bathroom mirror: high-waisted women’s jeans hugging my frame like a second skin, a sharply tailored blazer, a glossy patent clutch tucked confidently under my arm, and pointy-toe loafers tapping firmly on the hardwood floor. I laughed out loud—not because the outfit didn’t work, but because the boy who grew up in that house would never have dared to wear it. Now, every time I return to my hometown in Germantown, Maryland, I arrive dressed not just with style, but with purpose.
In high school, I stuck to a preppy look: button-downs under sweaters, crisp chinos, boat shoes that said just enough without saying too much. It was polished, acceptable, and most of all, safe. I admired fluid silhouettes and bold touches from a distance, but I was afraid that softness—too bright, too queer, too loud—would cost me something I wasn’t ready to lose.
I still remember the first time I dressed like myself in my hometown. I wore high-waisted women’s jeans, a slim-fitting knit top, and boots that clicked with every step. It wasn’t a special occasion—just a family gathering—but the stares said it all. Older relatives looked me up and down, their expressions hard to read but heavy with judgment. Some of the men seemed confused or uneasy. No one said a word, but their silence spoke volumes. In that moment, I realized this wasn’t just about clothes; it was about pushing boundaries and showing a part of myself I’d kept hidden. I know I’m not alone in that feeling—returning to a place that once made you small, now dressed in a way that demands to be seen.
Joce Blake, a fashion editor and writer, developed her unique style in Memphis. Her choices stood out against the muted neutrals and classic shapes preferred by her peers. “Memphis had its own style—think southern belles in polished neutrals and traditional silhouettes—but I was always drawn to bolder looks that broke the mold,” she says. “I knew people would talk. But I also knew I looked good.” Raised by women, Blake’s style blossomed at home, but school came with different expectations. “Fashion was an extension of my spirit,” she reflects, “even if it sometimes landed me in in-school suspension.”
Rodney Williams, stylist and founder of Closet Six, found his fashion sense through sports in Burlington City, New Jersey. “My early style came through athletics—rare Jordans, customized uniforms, wristbands that matched my mood. Confidence on the field translated to confidence in how I dressed.” Though he admired bold fashion on others, he held back, afraid of the attention that came with standing out as a young Black boy in a conservative town. Then came his DIY phase: hand-distressed jeans, repurposed pieces turned into statement looks. Friends laughed at first. Months later, they were copying him. That was the turning point.
“Returning home now is humbling,” Williams explains. “People knew me as an athlete, but now they see the full picture—stylist, entrepreneur, storyteller.” For him, clothing is just the surface. The real revelation is identity. “What I wear, and how I help others dress, has started conversations about self-expression, style in sports, and Black creativity in fashion. That’s what matters.”
In New Orleans, fashion and beauty editor Robyn Merrett learned about style early through Sunday bests and debutante gowns. Raised Baptist, she had a church wardrobe of bishop dresses, hair bows, and diamond earrings that sparkled under stained-glass windows. When it was time to pick her debutante gown, she turned down the flashy, over-the-top options. “I wanted something classic, something that felt like me,” she recalls. “Fashion has always been a big part of who I am.”
For Jodie Taylor, who grew up in a small, mostly whiteGrowing up in a Massachusetts suburb with Jamaican Christian parents, fashion often felt like a tool for fitting in. “The unspoken dress code was all about preppy style—polos, cardigans, boat shoes,” she recalls. Even her first job at Abercrombie emphasized that same uniform look. She admired bold fashion in magazines and on Tumblr but worried about standing out too much in her hometown. “It wasn’t that I was afraid of style,” she explains, “but I was careful about drawing attention.” Now, coming back home in expressive, feminine outfits feels both liberating and complicated. “There’s power in being fully myself in the same place where I used to hold back,” she says. “People still notice when I walk into a room, but I don’t make myself small anymore. What they see now is what happens when I give myself permission.”
Rachel Bell, who grew up in Birmingham, Alabama, says her relationship with fashion had its limits—especially outside the house. “If something made me look ‘too grown,’ it wasn’t an option,” she says. In a city where style tends to be traditional—polished matching sets, natural makeup—Bell’s layered outfits and bold accessories have always made her stand out. “I mastered the art of the outfit change pretty early,” she jokes. Over time, her personal style became a blend of influences: her mom’s closet, TV shows, her moods. Now, she describes her aesthetic as “a well-dressed identity crisis that somehow works.” Her friends encourage her to go even bolder, while her mom gently hints she should tone it down. “But no one has ever told me I can’t dress—at least not to my face,” she adds. “And if they did? I’d probably ask for a slideshow and bullet points.”
Both Taylor and Bell have advice for those still finding their style in places that don’t encourage self-expression: “You’re not too much,” Taylor says. “You’re just ahead of your time. Fashion is proof that you trust yourself.” Bell adds, “Where you are doesn’t have to limit your imagination. If it ruffles feathers, let it. Be a disruptor.”
For each of us, style is memory, meaning, reclamation, and resistance. Dressing up when I go back home isn’t about getting a reaction anymore; it’s about honoring the person I used to be, who felt he had to hide. It’s an act of self-compassion, a nod to the boy who watched muted runway shows, dreaming of the day he could wear what he loved without holding back. And yes, people notice. Some smile curiously, some stare a little too long. Like the time I wore a jumpsuit and got plenty of compliments—and just as many skeptical looks. If you see me moving through my hometown in clothes that aren’t on trend, know this: It’s not just an outfit. It’s a manifesto, a love letter, and a homecoming.
Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions About Dressing Up When Going Home
1 Why do I still dress up when I go home even if no one understands
You might do it for yourselfto feel confident express your identity or maintain a sense of routine and selfrespect regardless of others opinions
2 Is it normal to dress up even when no one else appreciates it
Yes its completely normal Many people dress for their own satisfaction and wellbeing not just to impress others
3 What are the benefits of dressing up for yourself
It can boost your mood increase selfconfidence help you feel more puttogether and reinforce your personal style and values
4 How can I handle criticism or confusion from family or friends about my choices
Politely explain that it makes you happy and is part of who you are You dont need to justify your preferences to others
5 Are there any downsides to dressing up in casual or judgmental environments
Sometimes it might lead to unwanted attention or comments but focusing on your own reasons can help you stay unaffected
6 Can dressing up improve mental health or selfesteem
Yes wearing clothes that make you feel good can positively impact your mindset and reinforce selfworth
7 What if I start feeling selfconscious about overdressing
Remind yourself why you do itfor your own enjoyment Over time you may care less about others opinions
8 How can I incorporate dressing up into my routine without it feeling like a chore
Choose outfits that are comfortable yet expressive and mix and match pieces you love to keep it fun and effortless
9 Are there specific styles or items that work well for dressing up at home
Opt for versatile pieces like a nice sweater wellfitted jeans or accessories that elevate your look without being overly formal
10 What if my family or friends make jokes or negative comments
Respond with humor or confidence or simply let them know its your personal choice and change the subject if needed
11 How do I balance dressing up with practicality especially in a relaxed home setting
Focus on clothes that are both stylish and comfortablelike athleisure wear casual dresses or layered outfits