Planning to propose but unsure how to go about it? You might already have the engagement ring—perfectly sized for your partner—and a few proposal ideas in mind. Maybe you’re picturing a rose-petal scavenger hunt at home or a magical moment under the Christmas lights. Whatever you imagine, the key is to make it uniquely yours.

Skip the trendy proposal gimmicks—your moment should reflect your relationship, not the latest fad. “Proposals are forever, so I hate seeing them reduced to trends,” says Emily Forrest Skurnik of Zola. And forget outdated norms: “It’s not always a man proposing to a woman, and you don’t have to get down on one knee if it doesn’t feel right. Just do what works for you.”

As we head into proposal season (roughly Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day), here’s how to plan an authentic proposal—from choosing the right setting to nailing your speech.

### Do: Make Sure You’re Aligned
First, have those big conversations about the future. Ensure your partner is not just open to marriage but excited about it. If family matters to them, consider asking for their loved ones’ blessing beforehand.

Surprise proposals are fading—couples today often discuss marriage long before the actual proposal. According to The Knot’s 2025 study, 57% of couples talk about engagement over a year in advance, while only 2% never discuss it. Many even start wedding planning before officially getting engaged (per Zola).

Bottom line: Your partner shouldn’t be shocked by the idea of marriage, but the proposal itself can still be a surprise.

### Don’t: Overcomplicate It
With Instagram-worthy proposals everywhere, it’s easy to feel pressure to go big. But focus on what feels genuine—your proposal doesn’t need a Parisian hot air balloon or a Maldives beach (unless that’s your partner’s dream and your budget allows). Some of the most meaningful proposals happen at home or in a favorite local spot.

### Do: Make It Personal
Think beyond “Will you marry me?” Jot down key points rather than memorizing a script—you don’t want to sound rehearsed or panic if you forget lines. Another idea: Write a heartfelt letter to read aloud, which your partner can keep as a memento.

Choose a meaningful location, like where you had your first date or met years ago.

### Don’t: Go Overly Public
Unless your partner loves the spotlight, skip the grand public gestures. Crowds, noise, and pressure can ruin the moment—no flash mobs, packed restaurants, or jumbotrons (unless you’re certain they’d love it).

### Do: Hire a Photographer
Wondering if you should capture the moment? Picture yourselves in 10 years, wanting to relive it—or sharing the news the next day. A photographer is always a good call.Here’s a clear and natural rewrite of your text:

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Hire a photographer or videographer, or ask a trusted friend to capture the moment. If that feels too intrusive, incorporate keepsakes (like a letter) into your proposal that you can photograph later. It doesn’t need to be a full photoshoot—just a simple snapshot of the moment can become a cherished memory.

Decide whether to get down on one knee. This tradition dates back to medieval knights as a sign of devotion. While it’s optional, decide beforehand—hesitating mid-proposal could lead to an awkward half-kneel.

Practice your proposal. Even a quick run-through helps calm nerves. Rehearse in front of a mirror, a friend, or even your pet. Get comfortable with your words and movements, like kneeling or slipping the ring on their finger. Don’t worry about perfection—stumbling over your words can make the moment even more heartfelt.

Plan how to carry the ring. Keep it hidden but secure—losing it in a pocket or on a beach would be a disaster. Store it safely in its box and make sure it’s well concealed.

Don’t forget about yourself. This moment is for you too. Don’t let stress overshadow the joy. If planning isn’t your strength, consider hiring a proposal planner—especially for elaborate or destination proposals. It’s an investment in your happiness.

Make post-proposal plans. Celebrate after the big “yes” with champagne, a favorite restaurant, or a small gathering with loved ones. Savor the excitement together.

Don’t forget the ring. No matter what else happens, as long as you have the ring and your partner, you can ask the question. Need help choosing one? Check out our ring-buying guide.

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Let me know if you’d like any further refinements!